Tuesday, November 4, 2014

2120 - The First WTF Posting On DTM Blog Classic Regarding the Chyna/Waltman Sex Tape

Reposted for posterity's sake and for anyone wondering, the first blog post on the original DTM Blog to receive the WTF tag was posted on December 4, 2004 and revolved around the release of the sex tape between Chyna and Sean Waltman that was made available for people to buy. As you'll find out, my reaction was... less than subtle.

The tape did eventually become subject to a Wrestlecrap induction some time later... and I have to wonder if that tape is still for sale. Not that I'd want to buy a copy... the knowledge of this tape's existence along with the subsequent porn career that Chyna would eventually pursue is more than enough to shake my faith in humanity.

63 - Laurer/Waltman Sex Tape - The first WTF entry
Topic: WTF?!

Warning: The following entry contains more than my fair share of profanity. If such levels of language offends you, scroll downwards and skip this completely... even if you're not offended by several uses of the four-letter words, scroll downwards anyway because this entry's topic is pretty offensive. Just remember, I warned you.

In a short week's time, the long publicized, scrutinized, and ridiculously infamous "sex tape" between former WWF wrestlers Joanie "Chyna" Laurer and Sean "1-2-3 Kid/Syxx/X-Pac" Waltman becomes available for all who want to see these two engage in raunchy... oh God. I can't go on with this... There are things I can keep an objective and calm mind about. I'll rant about it, but I'll always keep my composure. If I go off like a loon, give me a couple days and I'll be calm then.

But this just boggles the mind in ways God never intended the mind to be boggled in. I mean COME THE FUCK ON! WHO IN THE FLYING FUCK WOULD WANT TO SEE THIS SHIT?! AM I THE ONLY ONE WHO FINDS THIS TERRIBLY DISTURBING! WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS?!

So I'm reading the press release and supposedly, the asking price for this stupid thing, which is titled "1 Night In China" (how fucking original), is around $39.99 US. FORTY FUCKING DOLLARS?!! WHO IN THE RIGHT MIND WOULD WANT TO PAY FORTY FUCKING DOLLARS FOR THIS SHIT?!! This is absolute insanity!

This is so bad even Vince McMahon wouldn't stoop that low to come up with it. Having said that, expect the Triple H/Nipple H sex tape to be released next year from WWE Home Video... good god. I can't even make fun of this properly - I'm resorting to crummy Nipple H jokes.

This is sad. Just sad...

I'm going to bed... with fucking nightmares. Oh god.


Okay, later.

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