Thursday, February 14, 2013

WCW Uncensored '95 - The One Where Flair Dresses In Drag



So I've recently popped in a VHS tape of WCW Uncensored '95 - because why the hell not? - and decided to do a quick musing of this show. Not necessarily a review or a report, but rather some ramblings and thoughts.

The recurring concept of Uncensored was that it was an event that, in storylines, the (fictional) WCW Board of Directors had washed their hands of. Thus, each match on the card was ostensibly "unsanctioned", meaning they were not subject to the normal rules of WCW-sanctioned wrestling matches. Of course, in reality, it was a normally-booked WCW show, albeit one with a tendency to feature more "gimmick" matches than usual. This notion, however, was downplayed during the last few years that it was part of the WCW PPV schedule.

Most folks may recall the Doomsday Cage match thing at Uncensored 96 which featured Hulk Hogan and the Macho Man overcoming the odds and defeating eight guys in a single match... a rather atrocious match that would have the final nail in the coffin for the revived Hulkamania before the nWo came along and gave Hogan's career a much needed shot in the balls... sorry, poor choice of words.

But this is the 1995 edition of WCW Uncensored... the original show under this label.

I never saw the PPV during its original airing, as I didn't get into wrestling until the late-90s. However, during the early 2000s, there was a shop selling video tapes and DVD of various things... and the shop had a number of retail tapes from WWF and a couple WCW tapes when they were made available. So that's how I got my grubby little mits on this thing, along with a couple other tapes along the way.

So, yeah, on with the show...



So they open up the show with the "King of the Road Match" between Dustin Rhodes and the Black Top Bully; essentially a pre-recorded, horribly edited "match" featuring both guys fighting in the back of a semi full of hay trying to blow a horn... no, really, somebody thought this was a good idea for a match and it wasn't Vince McMahon. Dustin Rhodes, of course, would eventually jump to the WWF and become Goldust, while Black Top Bully is another gimmick for Barry Darsow, an individual best known for being one half of the tag-team Demolition (he was SMASH!), as well as the guy who portrayed the other memorable bad gimmick, Repo Man. The match itself is nothing special and not much to look at, but it did cost both individuals their jobs when they bladed to make themselves bleed, going against WCW's no-blood policy.

Oh yeah, the Bully wins... I mean, really, who cares? And perhaps that was the first thought that came to mind when I first saw this thing ages ago.

Meng (a.k.a. Haku) defeated Jim Duggan in what they billed as a "martial arts" match, with some martial arts guy serving as referee. I guess that's the only thing that indicates that this is, in fact, a martial arts match. Because I hardly saw anything in that match that could be identified as martial arts in this match... unless you consider garbage brawling a martial art. I kinda don't... but yeah, the match did nothing for me.

Johnny B. Badd defeated Arn Anderson in a Boxer vs. Wrestler match. Johnny is the boxer and Double A is the wrestler, in case you were wondering. For all intents and purposes, this was actually a fun little match that stuck to the gimmick it was assigned. Badd stuck with the boxing moves while Arn played the wrestling aggressor, up until the very end. It's not high art or anything, but I enjoyed this one a bit. No complaints.

"Macho Man" Randy Savage defeated Avalanche (a.k.a. John Tenta, the former Earthquake/future Golga in WWF) via disqualification in a no-disqualification match. Figure that one out, kids, because I ain't got a clue here. This match is probably best known for Ric Flair showing up in drag than anything else. I'm not sure if this was the first time Flair's been on TV since his supposed retirement match at the previous year's Halloween Havoc PPV or if he made any prior appearances... but in any case, there you go. Flair in drag. Until his TNA run a year or so ago, this was probably the most embarrassing thing Flair had been involved in.

Big Bubba Rogers (a.k.a. the former Big Boss Man Is He Big, Boss... Man) defeated Sting in a so-so match. Wasn't high art or anything, but it was something, at least... Bubba would eventually go back to the WWF and partake in memorable moments such as dragging caskets and feeding Al Snow his own dog.

The Nasty Boys (Knobs and Saggs) defeated Harlem Heat (Booker T and Stevie Ray) in what was billed as a Texas Tornado match, but unfortunately there was no sign of Kerry Von Erich in this match... perhaps that was in poor taste on WCW's part. In reality, this was one of those no-holds-barred, falls-count-anywhere matches whose sole highlight - and even that's a stretch - is the merciless destruction of a concession stand selling cotton candy. I guess I should've enjoyed this match considering I got in during the Attitude Era, which was known for its multitude of hardcore garbage matches involving stupid weapons and antics, but this was just dull to watch. The cotton candy bit was kinda cute, but negated by the presence of the Nasty Boys... yeah, low blow, I know.

And of course, Hulk Hogan beats Vader in a strap match. It is not an apple pie strap match... match is notable for the debut of the Renegade, who was supposed to be the big knock-off of the Ultimate Warrior that some suggested was done to coarse the Warrior to come over to WCW. My exposure to the Renegade is limited solely to this appearance, so I can't personally speak as to whether he was effective in the role or not. But from my understanding, his big push didn't last long and the guy would eventually commit suicide a couple years later... That's rather depressing, actually.

The match itself is nothing special; it's your usual Hogan bullshit match where Hogan wins and overcomes the odds... hey, this sounds remotely familiar... Look on the bright side, at least Hogan had the foresight to change his schtick in a year and undergo a resurgence in his career. And then people started caring again. You can't say the same about John Cena and the brainfucks at WWE.

As a whole, Uncensored '95 can be seen as one of two things; it's either the worst show you've ever seen with lots of crap matches or it's a carwreck that you know is going to be bad, but can't help but chuckle at such an atrocity. I personally think this is the latter; sure, the matches aren't all that great, but there's a certain absurdity to the whole deal that brings a smile to my face once in a while. And if nothing else, it doesn't have the Doomsday Cage that would debut years later and bring a near end to Hulkamania that would only be saved by a timely turn to the dark side and the birth of a new World order.

It's a pretty bad show, but one that's totally harmless and is more of a "carwreck" bad than "this will kill your soul" bad.

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