Monday, February 11, 2013

1252 - DTM Archive: Classic Bite Commentary - June 23rd, 2002

With the new dot com in place, there's a certain need on my part to add to this blog's content pool, either in terms of filling out with new content or reposting old content with slight reflections. I know a couple folks (they know who they are) have been bugging me about that Bite commentary archive that seems to have gone on the way side for years now. I suppose now I have a reason to put the damn things back up... but with a slight twist.

So every so often, I'll be reposting my older Bite commentaries from 2002 and up. Because posting ten year old writings without proper context is going to be jarring for those unfortunate souls reading these things for the first time, I'll also add more modern inserts and thoughts (identified by italicized brackets and some boldness for actual insertions) on certain aspects for better clarity on how things were and perhaps where I stand on certain aspects today.

So here's a pilot attempt at what I want to go for. If it works, we'll do more of these. If not, then those couple folks will have to fret a little longer.

Uncensored Commentaries by DTM666

JUNE 23RD, 2002

WARNING: Contains language and some material unsuitable for younger readers. Discretion is advised.

Hello, folks. Thanks for taking the time to read my weekly rant session otherwise known as "The Bite." To sum things up, The Bite is my views and opinions on particular points of interest. Whether it will be on general events, movies, comics, wrestling, Power Rangers, or some other stuff, I will put it here and give you my own views.

(The Bite also happened to be the name of a column that Vince Russo penned in the old WWF Magazine, so that might be where the name came from. Then again, the Bite was also used as a name of a completely fake commentary that was written back in high school, so who the hell knows?)

Some of you may think that The Bite is to discuss things that the majority of people would like to discuss - or that this is one of those places where someone "requests" for my opinion on something of their interest. If the above thoughts are in your head, get them out. I don't take requests on what I write. I'm not writing about general interest. I'm writing about MY interests. If you are not interested in my interests, nobody blames you. That's just you.

So without further ado, let's get this thing going.

WWE King of the Ring
The 10th annual King of the Ring pay-per-view is airing tonight. The card will either produce a potential new superstar or simply be the highlight of one's career. Here is the rundown of the card and my opinions and predictions;

The Hurricane versus Jamie Knoble for the WWE Cruiserweight Championship
I haven't seen Knoble since the old WCW, so I'm not sure how to make of this. I'm guessing Hurricane will lose the belt to Knoble and both of these guys will feud for another month.

Trish Stratus versus Molly Holly for the Women's Championship
Molly will be Women's champ. We need a "pure" and "wholesome" women's champ (especially one who used to be associated with the likes of Randy Savage some years ago.)

Ric Flair versus Eddie Guerrero
Originally, Guerrero was supposed to wrestle Stone Cold Steve Austin, but since Austin walked, it was changed to Flair/Guerrero. Guerrero will probably beat Flair with outside interference from Chris Benoit.

Hollywood Hulk Hogan versus Kurt Angle
Both are American heroes, both are former WWF (excuse me, WWE) world champions, both guys are bald. I don't see Hogan winning this match... as a matter of fact, I don't see Hogan winning any match... he should do us all a favor and retire for good... On the other hand, I'd like to see Kurt Angle take off that stupid wig.

The 2002 King of the Ring Tournament
Chris Jericho, Rob Van Dam, Brock Lesnar, and Test are the final four in this tournament. The winner not only gets crowned King, but also gets a world title shot against the champion at Summerslam 2002. This is actually a tough one to call. Jericho will NOT win the tournament because he doesn't need King of the Ring; the guy has accomplished enough that winning King of the Ring means nothing. Rob Van Dam could use a major push, but doesn't really need this either; he already made a name for himself back in ECW and he has a championship. Brock Lesnar MIGHT win this thing, but to see him become champion a couple of months later is ludicrous. Test can win King of the Ring, but... pff.

As a matter of fact, it all comes down to two things: whether the WWE (get the F out) can use the new King to his full potential and whether the winner can deliver the goods. This is a time in the company where the solution to improve sagging ratings may be to produce new stars and put the old farts to rest... you know who I'm talking about.

Triple H versus Undertaker
Triple H wins the belt... because Undertaker is old... then again... Triple H isn't that young either... so Taker can win it... but nobody cares about Taker... oh shit, I'm screwed...

My predictions could very well be off, but I'm never good at these things... who knows?

(First commentary coincides with the King Of The Ring 2002 PPV... I may actually do a separate PPV Musings article on this show, updated with results. You'll note that a lot of the older predictions were done in these Bite commentaries since I didn't start a blog until June 2004. Coincidentally, 2004 was the same year that I had briefly abandoned the Bite commentaries before starting them up again in 2006, which would have another lengthy run before being phased out in favor of the Twisted Blog/Realm of DTM.)

I got to check out the NWA-TNA PPV. I thought it was alright, considering the fact that the roster consisted of former WWF (oops, I mean WWE), WCW, and ECW spares, as well as some independent talent. Just a couple of things I want to comment on:

Jeremy Borash: The former WWA commentator on their three pay-per-views is the ring announcer for the NWA-TNA. I guess that last WWA PPV killed it, didn't it?

(If I recall, the short-lived World Wrestling All-Stars promotion recently held their third PPV, Eruption, which was a pretty horrid affair. A bit of a pit since I thought the initial WWA show was quite enjoyable, but it seemed apparent that it was not to be. At least Jeremy Borash managed to land himself a gig in TNA, something he holds to this day.)

Brief Review: It was good to see Ken Shamrock on TV again... good for him on winning the NWA world title. The overall production was well done, even though NWA did not have much television exposure since 1993. It's not a major league deal, but with time and dedication, it could bring prosperity back to NWA and make it a formidable force to compete against the WWE (aha! I got it right this time!)

(TNA would eventually drop their association with the NWA in 2004, but continue to utilize the NWA World Heavyweight and Tag Team championships until 2007, where they would eventually create their own versions of such titles. And while TNA is currently as much of a formidable force against WWE as your local backyard wrestling league, the fact that it's still going fairly strong a decade after its inception is a testament to the company's willingness to make their mark in the annals of wrestling lore. Here's hoping they continue onward and prosper for another ten years or so.)

Power Rangers
The current Sentai series running in Japan, "Hurriranger", will be converted to the next Power Rangers incarnation entitled "Ninja Storm". It is unknown whether the team will consist of three Rangers and two more joining later on (like the original Sentai) or if all five Rangers will debut simultaneously from the start. (It would, in fact, be the former.) In either case, I'm hoping that it ends up being better than Wild Force, because I can't seem to get into that. Whether it's the CG-mechas (zords), premise, or something, there is something here that prevents me from wanting to check this thing out. Having seen a couple of episodes, I was disappointed. Hopefully, this show will be able to produce something that will make me want to follow it.

(Wild Force was a definitely polarizing series in my mind back in the day. It was certainly in a strange place, as it was being produced and aired during a time when the franchise was undergoing a change of ownership from Saban to Disney. Maybe it's a good thing that the only new Power Rangers airing in 2010 when another change in ownership was taking place was the reversioned Mighty Morphin.)

Another thing that seems to piss me off is ABC Family's Best of Power Rangers airings. Why would you skip the entire run of Power Rangers Zeo to start off at Turbo? So you can show the "soccer" episode? It's bad enough they skipped "The Ninja Encounter" (since I haven't seen it; I'm keeping the episodes), but skipping Zeo where some considered that run to have some of the best episodes pre-PRiS to run a show that a lot of people agree is mediocre at best is a travesty. Hopefully, ABC Family will backtrack and air the true classic stuff some of us want to see.

(Ah, the best of Power Rangers block. Two hours worth of Power Rangers re-runs and skipping large chunks of episodes. Long before the age of YouTube, Netflix, and the eventual long-awaited season sets.)

Castlevania 64
While I was vacationing down south, I tried my hand on Castlevania 64. Yeah, I heard how bad it was... but the only way I could judge is by playing the game. So, I played the game... and discovered how different this game was from other Castlevanias. For instance, in a regular Castlevania game, I would actually move ahead in the first five minutes of gameplay. In this game, I kept falling into the same hole after killing the giant skeleton. After losing three times, I decided to play Smash Bros. instead...

(You'll note that I didn't out and out say that the game sucked, because I generally didn't have a feel for the game at the time. Once I got my own N64 and eventually picked up Castlevania 64, I generally managed to get a little farther, but gave up after I got my ass handed to me in the hedge maze. Control in this game left a lot to be desired and was perhaps the killing blow for an otherwise passable adventure game.)

World Cup
The final four of the 2002 World Cup tournament has been determined and we are at the closing stages. For those aren't aware, Brazil, Turkey, Germany, and South Korea are the four teams remaining in the tourney. The two winners meet each other for the cup, while the two losers compete for third place... I guess you have to play for something?

As much as I like to see Brazil win (since Portugal got axed from the first round weeks ago, family's been trailing Brazil), I think South Korea will probably win the thing. Why? Because Koreans move fast and might be able to sneak in cheap wins with a simple headbutt goal, like it did to Italy... boop!

(What a difference a decade makes, doesn't it? Back when I was mildly excited about soccer... and now, not so much.)

That's it for this first edition of the Bite... join me next week when I discuss more miscellaneous crap.


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