Saturday, November 5, 2011

586 - Classic Bite Commentaries - October 2003

(2014: Old Video Is Gone... So here's TWO Classic Bite Commentaries from 2003.)

Bite Commentary for OCTOBER 27th, 2003

Good morning, citizens. How are we today? Man, I never thought printing classes would be so exhausting, even when learning something as complex as tracing on Adobe Illustrator. But I digress. This is one of the best things that could ever happen to me. Just several months ago, I was under a cloud of depression I thought would never be lifted and while I'm still a depressed bastard, the oppurtunity to learn printing preses is a thrilling experience, one that I hope to make the most of. Then again, I could always be a film director. Kevin Smith said it best: when in Hollywood, you only fail upwards... ugh, never again will I seek out Silent Bob for quotes.

This could be an alibi for not updating the site or even posting a good commentary in past weeks, but then I'd be fooling myself. I've written bits and pieces of this thing many times, but never got the chance to post it, so rather than make it up to date, I figure just post it as is, since nothing is time specific anyway. So here you go. Maybe some time down the road, I'll sit down and write out a decent commentary that is smooth... the best smoothness I could muster anyway.

The past few days have not been good ones in the world of wrestling. First, Stu Hart passes away and recently Road Warrior Hawk. These guys are legends in this sport and they will be missed.

Anyway, I said I had an announcement, so I'll shoot it right up.


You can read the Epilogue from Fanfiction.Net, but if you haven't had the chance to read the story in its entirety, go ahead and treat yourself to the one-shot edition, which not only includes the entire text edited into one seamless story, but also includes a couple of extended scenes (mostly an extra line of dialogue or two) as well as a new scene and an important overview of past events, because without this, many events may seem very unfamiliar. I'm not one to over hype my own work, since hype is shit anyway, but read it.

Since we are on the subject of works, I've been trying to get in the mood of writing Ranger fics at home again, so I wrote up a quick story called Phakes, which should be up by the time you're reading this. If you are going to read it, I have to warn you that the fight scene is the most ridiculous fight scene I have ever devised that isn't part of a parody or similar genre. I intended it that way... somewhat.

I've recently made my first trip to the local arcade in quite some time and noticed a new addition: SNK vs Capcom: SVC Chaos, SNK-Playmore's foray into the SNK/Capcom crossover deal. Naturally, guess what I played?

The game plays well. The graphics seem a bit dated, but it doesn't really bother me. It has that old-school feeling that was missing in all the recent fighters. The controls are a little awkward, especially for a guy who had never laid his hands on a Neo-Geo based game (SNES ports don't count), but once you figure it out, they're a second nature. It's a traditional one-on-one fighter, best-of-3 falls. Which means I don't have to force myself into picking another loser, I can stick with my Ken.

If you're a fighting nut, give SVC Chaos a try.

This is what I wrote a couple weeks ago when the word originally broke out:

Hulk Hogan, according to reports, has signed a deal with NWA-TNA. The deal apparently is for Hogan to wrestle Jeff Jarrett, which looks to be an intense match-up. If you remember, the last time Hogan and Jarrett were scheduled to face each other... well, let's just say that Hogan was out after that. As much as I can't stand the prospect of Hogan wrestling again, the move to sign the former World champion is a very big move by TNA. Some may even say it's a very agressive move on TNA's part, who is hoping that Hogan will do for them what he did for WCW. We'll see about that, now won't we?. Interesting... Hulk Hogan in NWA. Never thought I see the day...

Now, from what I've heard and understood, despite the fact that Hogan is undergoing surgery and that TNA's three-hour PPV (which was scheduled to happen November 30th) has been postponed for early 2004, the deal has not fallen through and we may still see an even more immobile and worthless Terry Bollea beat Jeff Jarrett for the NWA World Heavyweight title. Oh come on, you can see it a lightyear away!

Rob Van Dam, despite being the Intercontinental champ, is unhappy with the way WWE is pushing him. His contract expires next summer and there's a possibility that he might leave then. My advice to RVD; leave now. I'm not suggesting you go out and pull a Stone Cold Steve Austin (just walk out) or even a Ric Flair/Madusa Micelli (walk out with the belt - something rare that hardly happens these days). But you're basically being wasted in WWE right now. Leave now. Your comic book store (5StarComics) is thriving, you got a comic on the way out. Focus on that. If you want to still wrestle, TNA and Japan are your best choices. Leave now before your value diminishes further.

Go to this site, which has a peculiar clip for what would have been a different Sailor Moon cartoon/live-action hybrid. This may have been around for some time, but I only found out about it recently. I have never seen such a god-awful concoction of animation since Teen Titans invaded my retinas. Actually, if you have the right mind, DON'T watch that clip. Thank goodness people at DiC had the right minds to port the original anime here.

Since we're on the subject of Sailor Moon, there's another damned show in Japan called Pretty Guardian Sailor Moon... wait, this isn't a cartoon. This is a live-action show, with cute little Japanese girls in sailor costumes and stuff. I will flat out admit that I couldn't care less for the original anime Sailor Moon, but I have managed a peek at this new show and what I saw, I determinately liked. I think a site has it available for download, although it's in Japanese.

Ninja Storm is reaching its finale. And while I would normally be ecstatic about such an event, I haven't seen one episode of the show since Shane's Karma. Oh well.

On October 8th, 2003, the world saw with their own eyes how stupid people living in the state of California can be, as movie star Arnold Schwarzenegger is elected governor. Yes, you've read right. Arnold Fucking Schwarzenegger is the Fucking Governor of Fucking California. It only proves one thing: if people in Minnesota were stupid enough to elect Jesse Ventura for the governorship of their state, then anybody can get in on the governing action. On the other hand, the Americans voted for Bush and... this speaks for itself. Oh well...

On that note, we end this pointless drivel. Until next time folks, whenever that is...

Bite Commentary for October 31st, 2003

Did you really believe that the Ultimate Warrior (real name: Warrior) was really returning to "actual" wrestling? HA! From the words of Mr. Warrior himself:

Hello Warriors. Those of you who have continued to follow my career going-ons know Ultimate Warrior has long been waiting for the perfect (and principled) time to unleash a ring return. Amidst the never-ending rumors and mistruths spread by others, the time to return has come and is now and it is with Acclaim! An entertainment promotion with class, pride and integrity. After many years of absence, I am thrilled to be working again with Acclaim's talented, creative and professional staff on the new, next-level of their Legends of Wrestling: SHOWDOWN video game! Acclaim has assured me that Ultimate Warrior rises and soars and rules, shakes ropes, shatters hopes and awakens the Gods of Parts Unknown in this incredible opportunity to settle ALL SCORES, unfinished business and even new beefs!, in the ULTIMATE place to do battle -- THE SHOWDOWN RING! The intensity of Ultimate Warrior lives on.

Fine, so Warrior (aka Ultimate Warrior) is a playable character in the latest Acclaim wrestling offering. Whoopee. What does this have to do with a wrestling return? And why would anyone demand a return of Ultimate Warrior (real name: Warrior)? Always Believe... My Ass.

Other than that, things have been pretty smooth these days. Nothing of note has happened that isn't commonplace in my wacky world. It's Halloween, but you knew that already.

(Oh, 2003 Dave. So much of a missed opportunity.)

As you may have noticed, Tripod has shifted their stuck-on ads to the top of the page. This is getting really frustrating, but it's something I have to deal with.

Anywhoo, not much to talk about this week. So this is just a minor blurb. Later.

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