Friday, November 4, 2011

584 - Classic Bite Commentary - August 25, 2002

(2014 Update: Old video is gone, so here's a Classic Bite Commentary from 2002, which contains predictions for that year's Summerslam event. I'm not going to include results here because I want to save that for its own post... assuming I get around to watching the show.)

Tonight is Summerslam. Roughly several weeks until the Power Rangers Reunion episode airs. Let's do this thing.

Summerslam - My (Way Wrong) Predictions
Tonight is Summerslam. You know the drill... I give the card: with each match, I insert my own prediction that may very well be wrong... okay, besides the no-brainer ones...

Undertaker vs. Test
The battle of the big men. One is old and one is dull... I guess I'll have to go for the dull one.

Booker T and Goldust vs. Lance Storm and Christian for the Tag-Team titles
The Book and the "Black-and-Gold Teletubby" take this match and the belts, SUCKA!

Kurt Angle vs. Rey Mysterio
Let's face it. The prospect of a well-known lucha-style performer taking on an Olympic athlete is somewhat appealing... Kurt Angle will lose to the "12-year-old" as he puts it for the second time.

Edge vs. Eddy Guerrero
Edge will beat the Latino Mullet... who really cares?

Ric Flair vs. Chris Jericho
Jericho may very well prevail in this battle... not because he's king of the world, but because if he jobs, his match might get more negative reactions... then again, who cares?

Rob Van Dam vs. Chris Benoit for the Intercontinental title
The Un-Americans... er, Canadians have a point... Canadian talent is underused... Benoit comes back from a fatal injury and all he gets is the IC title... Win, Chris! Win!

Triple H vs. Shawn Michaels
HBK will take the win... why do I say HBK? I dunno... by the way, WHAT THE F*** was that on RAW? I thought the guy was crippled! What the f*** was that?!

Brock Lesnar vs. The Rock for the World Title
Uh, a no-brainer! Brock wins the match and the belt because Rock is a crock.

To tell you the truth, this is a pretty lousy card. I don't see anything really appealing to me that I may enjoy. On the other hand, the prospect of Angle losing to Reyrey is somewhat intriguing, but not by much... I'll still watch the show at my local bar.

Rocky Sucks! Rocky Sold Out! Die Rocky Die!
While I was browsing through WrestleZone's forums (to observe only), I noticed a particular thread called Rocky Sucks. I click it... to see a bunch of guys badmouthing the Rock because he's doing movies instead of wrestling full-time. They particular make note of the fact that Brock Lesnar couldn't get over if it wasn't the Rock he beat for the Undisputed title. In my column (and this is my column by the way), I disagree. Personally, a clean win over someone more established like Undertaker would mean more than a tainted Rock victory. In fact, it would have been great if Lesnar beat 'Taker for the belt, because then the title would have had more meaning. With the exceptions of 'Taker and Chris Jericho, the holders of the Undisputed title (Triple H, Hulk Hogan, The Rock) are simply "champion until the next PPV." Before the whole undisputed scenario, the WWF World Title had experiences a significantly long reign in "Walkout Boy"... er, Stone Cold Steve Austin... not an extremely long reign, mind you, but long enough so that prestige was brought to the title. That title was soon merged with the WCW World Title, which was basically treated like shit, even before WWF bought WCW.

IMHO, if the Rock returns, he should be a heel.

Power Rangers Red Pics
Some of you probably know that there's going to be a Red Ranger reunion episode... The following Red Rangers will show up: Austin St. John (the original Red Ranger - although he did return in Zeo as the second Gold Ranger), Jason Frank (the Red Zeo Ranger - he was also the Red Turbo Ranger, as well as the more recognizable Green Ranger and White Ranger in MMPR), Selwyn Ward (the Red Turbo Ranger who replaced Jason Frank - later became the Blue Space Ranger... poor guy, it's not his fault Turbo sucked!), Christopher Khayman Lee (the Red Space Ranger - that guy who was on some obscure WB show), Sean Cw Johnson (the Red Lightspeed Rescue Ranger - a guy who doesn't mind wearing the same shirt for the third straight year), Jason Faust (the Red Time Force Ranger - he already did ONE crossover and now has to do double duty), Daniel Southworth (Time Force's Quantum Ranger who conveniently wears red - ditto with this guy), and of course, Ricardo Medina Jr, who happens to be the current Red Ranger of Power Rangers Wild Force. The guys who won't show up: Steve Cardenas (he replaced Austin St. John as the Red Ranger in MMPR - there's only one Red Ranger costume so, sorry Steve) and Danny Slavin (the Red Lost Galaxy Ranger). Although the Red Lost Galaxy Ranger will be there, the actor who plays him won't be. Can't say I blame the guy... I wouldn't want to return to a reunion special knowing I have to wear the same T-shirt and pants for half a fucking season. (Danny Slavin did show up and they edited him into the footage in post... and as for Steve, he was moving and they couldn't get in touch.)

Ultraman Tiga
I've seen some previews of some new shows that will air on the Fox Box on September 14. One of the shows that intrigue me is Ultraman Tiga. Apparently, this is a straight-up dub as opposed to the show getting the "Power Rangers" treatment.

Pepsi Blue
By the way, I tried some of that new Pepsi Blue... it tastes different... At least it doesn't just taste like cola, sort of like Vanilla Coke, where I would only get a hint of vanilla before being overwhelmed with Coke flavor.

I just realized something... all this time, I've been writing about various wrestling stuff in this commentary and I never mentioned Bret Hart (except for that Confidential crap) and his stroke. I am glad that he is recovering and hope he feels good enough to... um, well... what does he do again?... Sorry, that was shameless... Goes to show you're safer walking on foot... at least until someone gets paralyzed while tripping over a crack on the road...

Some sad news...
World Wrestling Entertainment has released Sean Waltman (X-Pac) from his contract... actually, that's not so sad...

I got to see a car spin
Yesterday, there was CART qualifying rounds in Montreal. My brother and I went to check it out. Unfortunately, we've only manage to see one qualifier and never paid attention to the race. However, I did see a car spin out, so that made my day. Honestly, I had a good time.

Folks, I grow increasingly weary and impatience with the constant delay of Castlevania & Contra, the PC compilation of several NES games. Once again, it has been delayed... apparently, so has Harmony of Dissonance, which is the new Castlevania for Game Boy Advanced (of course, it's been out in Japan for a while). If the delays were to improve on the product, then hopefully they will be worth the wait. Otherwise, what's the point, really?

That's it... see you next week.


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