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Monday, June 21, 2010

122 - Grumble, Grumble #5 - Nerd Clone 17's Wolverine Review

Been a while, hasn't it? Well, I have this sitting on the draft table for far too long. Sooo....

Today, we're going to be looking at a "review" of Wolverine for NES done by some guy under the YouTube name of NC17Productions. Most of you might already be familiar with this guy's work via Asalieri's two videos where he debunks some complaints in a couple videos. Well, I'm going to do the same thing with this review.

A couple quick thoughts on the game itself; despite having the LJN Brand of Death and some questionable gameplay issues, Wolverine is actually a fairly good platformer for the most part with good controls and fairly nice graphics. The music in this game is also a highlight despite having too few tracks in general. For the most part, I found the game enjoyable as a kid and even today, I still think it's a fairly decent addition to the NES library...

...this guy seems to have missed the point here. So... I might drop a couple quick comments here and there. Let's begin.



"Let's venture into the unknown. Is it a stupid strategy? I think it's a retarded strategy..." Yeah, you would think so, but you have to keep in mind that even the "safe" choices aren't always the best choices. And while you might stumble across more crap games when venturing into the unknown, sometimes you'll get lucky and find a rare gem that's actually pretty good.

"I couldn't get past the second level..." Aaaaanndddd you've just lost all credibility with me. Thanks. I knew this was a fucking waste of time.

So upon FINALLY starting the game, he spots the LJN logo and has a spasm. Dude, you realize that the LJN logo was also on the box cover, right? Didn't you? Okay, moving on.

"Why does Wolverine look like that? He looks more like Iron Man!" No, he doesn't look like Iron Man, Nimrod Constipator. That's the brown costume that he wore all throughout the 80s and for a short brief time in the early-90s before settling into the yellow outfit that most 90s kids are familiar with. In fact, the brown costume made a re-appearance in the early issues of Wolverine: Origins, a secondary title to the main Wolverine comic. Personally, I prefer the brown costume over the yellow one, but then the guy's got like fifty costumes or something. Moving right along.

But Ninny Colonel doesn't see brown. He sees red. Are all AVGN clones this stupid? Really?

I don't know enough about the X-Men/Wolverine universe to identify the white-garbed enemies in the game, but I'm certain they're not Silver Surfers.

He complains about the claws draining your health and doesn't understand why that's the case. For in-game purposes, it's a clutch that prevents you from overusing the powerful claws. Mind you, I don't understand the reasoning for this implementation, so I could concede a point to him this time.

Okay, maybe not. Some time later, Numbskull Commander compares this to if Mario were to lose health each time he used fireballs or if Link lost health each time he used his sword. Those are different cases because, for one thing, Link's default weapon is the sword. If the sword was enchanted and somehow drained Link's health, it might make some sense and might be more applicable to your little comparison piece. But it isn't.

The wonderful thing about this game is that there is virtually no hit stun animation, thus allowing you to run through enemies rather easily if you don't want to fight them. If you stand there like a complete fucking idiot like Nerd Clone did in his video, then yeah... you'll lose most of your life meter. Also, you can punch the enemies as they're teleported in or out. Clearly, you didn't do that here.

Between levels, Sabretooth will appear to taunt you. Sometimes these taunts are random, but other times they often elude to the main theme of the next level... or trials as the game refers to them. In fact, Sabretooth doesn't actually appear in-game until the final level, where he serves as the final boss of the game... a bit too obvious there? Kind of, but since this guy doesn't seem to grasp that point, it might be worthwhile to point it out.

Oh Jesus, the purpose of those magnets are to attract the player towards them and thus off the platforms; the purpose being that they'll hopefully cause the players to fall into the abyss below and lose a life. It makes sense; Wolverine's skeleton is coated with adamantium metal, magnets attract metal. Not that complicated, No Clue 17.

That fall after respawning... yeah, that is SO full of fail. So are a couple falls afterwards... man, I can't take this guy seriously anymore. I'm not even going to progress forward anymore.

YOU FAIL!

Later...

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