Castlevania II: Captain Obvious Ed.

Get the new Castlevania II: Simon's Quest - The Captain Obvious Edition ROM Hack here.

Thursday, March 26, 2015

2314 - The Nerd Touches Hong Kong 97... I Plant Face To Palm

My reaction after watching the latest Nerd snorefest.

This was bad. This was very bad. Not THAT bad... but still very bad.

I honestly didn't think that this series could get worse. I didn't want to believe it. I felt that while the series had fallen from its pedestal of humor ages ago, it still had its moments... sometimes. The 12 Days Of Shitmas marathon, while not high-larious and boasting a couple worthless episodes (Crazybus, for fuck's sake), there were a couple decent entries. Ren & Stimpy: Firehouse wasn't too bad and I thought his Hyperscan episode, while not ha-ha funny because it's retread territory, it did look at the various games in "detail" compared to other videos who were more content in mocking the system's inability to read its trademark cards. See, I can find something to like in this Nerd series.

And yes, I'm just calling it the Nerd series. These days, he doesn't do a whole lot of anger... or even video games for that matter.

So I didn't think this series could find its way of breaking through the bottom of that barrel and digging itself to the other side of the planet, but somehow, James Rolfe has found a way to make a once humorously quaint little series spill into the depths of utter decadence and debauchery by building a drawn-out and completely pointless episode around one of the most shallow and worthless games ever conceived... a game, mind you, that has been covered, reviewed, mocked, and eviscerated by who knows how many people online. It is not exactly a hidden turd that has been left undiscovered or untouched - people know about this thing, especially within the internet gaming community.

And the sad thing is that Rolfe has a nice little gaming series in James & Mike Mondays that, while derivative of other "Let's Play" pairings such as those Game Grump people or whoever, is perhaps the most watchable gaming show that they've got. Reactions are genuine, the banter is, more often than not, complimentary to the experience rather than a distraction, and if nothing else, there is a sincerity and humbleness to this that is completely lacking in the Nerd series. I can watch this and get a couple laughs and giggles out of this, even with some of the more crass humor that I've grown out of enjoying from their camp. If there was anything from James Rolfe today that I'd recommend watching from a gaming standpoint, I'd say check out James & Mike Mondays. That's a good show.

The Nerd series, on the other hand? Purely self-indulgent at this point. Taking a worthless game that shouldn't take you more than three to four minutes tops to say "it's fucking shit" and turn it into this padded-out horse manure that tries to be intellectual and high end, but really, it's no better than sitting through an episode of the Irate Gamer show... which is equally as terrible, by the way.

Any way we can convince Kenny The NC17 Guy to come out of retirement?

On the bright side, though, the OneUp Gamer - the once-high-pitched boy who did a bunch of silly but otherwise enjoyable videos including two on Back to the Futer (sic) - made a return to the living a few months ago with a quality review of American McGee's Alice before falling off the face of the Earth yet again. Yes, kids; unlike some other online folks who stuck around long past the expiry date, he actually got better. Do check it out by clicking here.

2313 - A Friend Loaned Me His Copy Of Steel Cage Challenge...

Steel Cage Challenge being an old NES wrestling video game and the third overall WWF game on the console, following Wrestlemania  and Wrestlemania Challenge. I only vague recall play Steel Cage on the Game Gear. But I'm playing this game... and I kinda wish I wasn't.

Good lord, this is a terrible video game.

Obviously, this being a thing I do, I've recorded some footage for use in a future review down the road, but... man, this is painful. I don't think I'll be calling him a friend for subjecting me to this tripe.

Wednesday, March 25, 2015

2312 - Meh...

So it was last month that I was finally able to get the WWE Network... that is to say, the Canadian version of the WWE Network that happens to be the premium cable channel (which is supposedly based on the live stream of the US version or something). At the moment, the On-Demand version of the Network is accessible to Bell subscribers and that sorta makes me sad... but at the same time, this premium channel version ain't too shabby, either.

There's a lot of repeated content during the week; lots of Countdown shows (they're okay), lots of Monday Night Wars shows (they're so so... though how the fuck did they get Vince Russo there?), and of course, lots of Total Divas... and I can honestly tell you that I've seen enough Total Divas to justifying my not caring about the Divas division. Seriously, there's a reason why the NXT ladies get more TV time on that hour-long show; they're simply more interesting characters. But there are some good stuff there... I'm actually enjoying that Legends House show, for example; probably the best piece of original programming they've created for the thing.

I suppose if there was anything I look forward to on this network channel, it's Thursdays, where they show a bunch of classic content. Thus far, I was able to catch a few Clash Of The Champions, a couple episodes of Tuesday Night Titans and Monday Nitro... there's even the oddball episode of Monday Night Raw (from the "bad" old days of 1996) show on there. Just last week, I caught a Starrcade (1989, I believe.) It is not the full-on library that I would've liked, but for the moment, this sates my wrestling fix quite nicely.

I'm liking the Network quite a bit and when there's good stuff on there, it's really good. And when there's bad stuff, it's really bad.

Which brings me to last Monday.

I'll admit to having skimmed through the thing - a common thing for me to do these days since there was no way I was going to sit through three hours of tripe. There was the opening Sting promo and his encounter with Nipple H and McSon-In-Law that did nothing to get me excited for their match this Sunday... this match that is the Stinger's first-ever WWE match, by the way.

I see a bunch of guys fighting over a ladder to reach a championship title belt that's hanging high on a hook for whatever reason. Unless there's a ladder match later on the show, there's no reason for this to be here. Were there two IC title belts hanging above the ring of a Monday Night Raw before Wrestlemania X, where there was a title match?

I see TJ Wilson and Nattie Neidhart doing a Burger King promo... say, remember when D'Lo Brown and Mark Henry did a promo for McDonalds?

And then there was the final segment... the one that ended with the tug-of-war between Roman Reigns and WWE World Champion Abeyance. This is the shot that's supposed to sell me on this main event for the granddaddy of them all. This is supposed to sell me on Wrestlemania... THIS.

Watching this RAW made me realize something that I didn't think what cross my mind. It took me a couple days to reconcile this feeling, but it finally dawned on me. For the first time since I started following wrestling back in 1998, I am not looking forward to Wrestlemania. There is almost literally nothing on this card that has me excited or anything that I'd enjoy. And with the signing of Abeyance to a multi-year deal, I'm dreading how they're going to book next year's Wrestlemania, which takes place in a bigger stadium... no doubt bringing back all the old-timers to wrestle matches because they can't be bothered to make the effort to make new stars... that's plural, by the way.

Honestly, when Sunday rolls around, I'm more tempted to pull out my old VHS copy of the original Wrestlemania from 1985 and just watch that show instead. Because hey, that show had a much better build than this year's fucking waste.

2311 - Attitude? You Ain't Got Nothin', Man.

2310 - Abeyance Signs A New Contract

Touched on it on the Twitter, but since I haven't said it here, the word broke that Brock "Abeyance" Lesnar has signed a new WWE deal, presumably one where he makes a shitload of money to show up on TV three times a year. And then people wonder why they can't make new stars.

2309 - Took It Down

Sorry, everyone.

Tuesday, March 24, 2015

2308 - Live Test: WOLFENJAWLS!

2307 - 10 Movies You've (Supposedly) Never Heard Of Starring Pro-Wrestlers

For those who can't be bothered to click the link, the list is as follows

Hell Comes To Frogtown, starring Roddy Piper
Santa With Muscles, starring Hulk Hogan
Santa's Slay, starring Bill Goldberg
Abraxas, Guardian of the Universe, starring Jesse "The Body" Ventura
See No Evil, starring Kane (oh come on!)
Knucklehead, starring The Big Show
The Marine, starring John Cena
The Condemned, starring Steve Austin
Bounty Hunters, starring Trish Stratus
Ready To Rumble, starring David Arquette, WCW World Champion

This list is immediately lying because I've heard of at least nine of these movies. Hell, four of them are recent WWE Studio films and barely qualify as "never heard of" films. If anything, this list should be listed as "10 Movies Starring Pro Wrestlers That Nobody Saw." Then, the list would be more accurate.

Sunday, March 22, 2015

2306 - MMPR: The Eighth Coin (2012 Final Edit) - Part 13 CONCLUSION

A note on this final chapter; with the exception of the final "scene" of this chapter, the entirely is a new piece of work that took me years to polish down to a form that I was happy with. I think, in the long term, the stalling of updates of past chapters was due entirely to my fidgeting with the narrative. Out of all the fanfic re-ups and re-edits done, this has been the most drastic, especially with the additional length. (The original version was 10 chapters versus this new version's 13). So, in many respects, I'm happy that this is finally done and hopefully, I'll start filling in the final blank (Zero Hour) in the FF repertoire.

Disclaimer: The author of this document would like to clarify that Power Rangers and its characters is owned by Saban Brands and not the author.

2305 - MMPR: The Eighth Coin (2012 Final Cut) - Part 12

That's it for now, I think... gotta check the final part before I think it's ready to go.

Disclaimer: The author of this document would like to clarify that Power Rangers and its characters is owned by Saban Brands and not the author.